Sensitivity?

Of course. We should be sensitive to people's feelings. I think many of us don't even consider that we are hurting people's feelings most of the time. We are way too concerned about protecting our own.

Rather than being more sensitive to each other's feelings we instead try to convince ourselves that nothing bothers us. We try to convince ourselves that we don't care. There is nothing worse than not caring. We have grown incredibly accustomed to having our feelings hurt.

What hurts people's feelings? There are all kinds of things that hurt people's feelings but yet they are things that people just continue to do everyday including:

• calling someone names
• ignoring someone
• not listening to someone
• not calling someone back
• being excessively late
• not showing up
• being thoughtless
• taking someone for granted
• laughing at someone

So, when our feelings are hurt most likely we either try to convince ourselves we don't care or we get angry. There is another option.... communicate that your feelings were hurt. This is much better than convincing yourself that you don't care or yelling and screaming. However, unfortunately, explaining to someone that your feelings were hurt will not guarantee they will listen. But, it is definitely your best option.

In fact, when you do explain to someone that they hurt your feelings, you very well may be greeted with, "you're over-sensitive" or "you're crazy." This will probably shock you because it will not be the apology you were expecting. This is when the screaming and yelling may start. I'm giving you fair warning, so just keep your cool and stand your ground. (But, however difficult it is, no name calling!) Your feelings are valid and they should be acknowledged.

How often have you heard people say, "I can't even imagine what they are going through? " Then, that's the end of it. Try!! Sit down and think about it. If you sat down and thought about it, you would probably know exactly what you could do to offer some help. Think about all the things they need to do and their emotional state.

Start being a "feelings detector." Start paying attention to the ruthless little comments that are being thrown around all of the time and the irritation and eye-rolling that greet those comments. Explore your world. We are just starting to recognize how incredibly important our feelings are for our health and quality of life.

Sensitivity and communication are really the bread and butter of a good healthy relationship. Start recognizing how you are treating people and start asking to be treated better. You matter! You are important! You are affecting people and you are being affected!

So, why are we so desensitized?