Listening?

Absolutely. How could you possibly "imagine yourself in someone's shoes" if you are not even listening to them? Listening is truly a skill. It requires focus and self-discipline.

Listening is in such high demand it is even a paid profession. Therapists are paid to listen and to care. Isn't that sort of ridiculous? Isn't that the job of our friends and family? We seem to want to be heard but we seem not to want to listen.

We tend to run away anytime someone starts discussing their problems. If you were bogged down by a problem you were having would you like it if people ran away from you? You certainly cannot solve everyone's problems and that is not the goal of listening. The goal of listening is to show you care and to perhaps ask them questions so they can maybe think of the problem differently and solve it themselves.

How often when you ask someone "how are you doing?" have you truly cared? We certainly do say it quite often but do we care? We will just usually get the usual response, "good," "fine," or "okay." Why do we get these mundane responses all the time? Because people know you don't care anyway so why should they bother telling you truly how they are doing. It is rather robotic.

Listening and caring go hand-in-hand. This is what is lacking in daily life... caring. We are so busy looking forward to a better and brighter future when that better future can start today... start caring. When I ask people "how are you doing?" they tend to open up to me more because I think they are able to detect the sincerity in my voice. Give it a try. It will add a little spark to your life and it will make you feel good.

We assume people listen to us. We speak and we think everyone is listening but most are just thinking about what they want to say rather than listening. We are very, very anxious to be heard. Start paying attention when you have conversations. Do you tend to really think about what the other person is saying and putting yourself in their place or are you just thinking about what you want to say?

We are not getting nearly as much out of the "here and now" as we possibly could. Our lives are truly lacking that emotional connection. They are lacking empathy. They are lacking true caring. The more you put out there, the more you will get back.