"Laid-back".... What is it?

“Laid-back” is a term that is used rather loosely and quite frequently. People seem to equate it as being a positive thing. I interpret it to mean you can “roll with the punches” so to speak; but is THAT really a good quality to have in all situations?

I try to be courteous of people and considerate of them and I expect to be treated equally as well. If I feel like I’m not being treated with that same respect, you’re going to hear about it. And also, in turn, if someone feels like I haven’t been courteous or considerate of them, I want them to let me know so I will have the opportunity to correct my behavior and “right my wrong” if I deem it appropriate or warranted. This scenario is not so “laid back” but it is very helpful in moving forward in having positive and healthy relationships.

Of course we’re all human and imperfect and getting upset about every small little discourteous or inconsiderate thing someone does is not going to do any of us much good…. but the things that really bother us and that we cannot tolerate really need to be discussed and brought to the surface. It would be nice of course if people would accommodate us and try to adjust their behavior but, we all know that many are not willing to adjust their behavior for anyone. That is the sad truth and that is why so many relationships fail. I prefer to “sway like the wind” rather than “roll with the punches.”

This article was inspired because someone recently told me that they did not think I was “laid-back.” So since I believe everyone’s opinion counts…. I took this to heart and I questioned it. Am I? Maybe I’m not. What is it? Is it a good thing? The conclusion I came to is that it is a very unclear term. People SHOULD get upset sometimes. We could do a better job of course of communicating what is upsetting us rather than “flying off the handle” but we have a right to get upset when we feel like we have been disrespected.

In conclusion, the next time you hear the term perhaps you should ask them…. to define it.

- Elizabeth Fink, 12/07/2009